This is a poem I made a long time ago... At that time, I was trying to recover from a very painful separation from my boyfriend. Oh, I still remember how I felt that time. I was truly hurting. But I am completely.. totally... entirely over him now.
“thoughts of you”
I wake filled with thoughts of you
My heart is full of many things to say to you
I love you, I love you. my baby;
I can not reiterate it too often;
I can never express it as much as I feel it.
I cannot keep myself from writing any longer to you,
although I have not had any answer to either of my messages
I can assure you…
you have not been out of my thoughts hardly for one minute
I do not expect you to love me,
I am not worthy of your love.
I may appear to you imprudent, vicious;
my opinions detestable, my theory depraved;
but one thing, at least, time shall show you:
that I love gently and with affection,
that I am incapable of anything
approaching to the feeling of revenge or malice;
As for my heart,
there you will always be - very much so.
But let me have this for you,
containing nothing but my love
And its with a very heavy heart I part from you.
No more kisses and tender caresses for ever so long –
I want to bury myself in you, hold you tight in my arms,
make you feel the intense love of mine.
You are my very life,
and our separation gives such endless heartache…
I love you. That is all I know.
But all I know, too, is that I am writing into space:
the kind of dreadful, unknown space I am just going to enter.
I look back to the early days of our acquaintance and friendship
as to the days of love and innocence
the picture of my heart it would be
what I hope you would still love
The early possession you obtained there,
and the absolute power you have obtained over it,
leaves not the smallest space unoccupied.
I picture you in all sorts of ways, as I have seen you since.
I can never praise you enough for yourself
or for your love of me,
which I don’t really deserve.
Written by the hand of hers
who would willingly remain yours.
- nery -
